Why do I resist spending money on my own needs?
Last week I became aware of something that really fascinated me. I became aware that even after all my years improving my own self care and working with Mums to improve theirs … I still have some very unhelpful thoughts about spending money on my own needs!
Unhelpful thoughts are one of the very first things we work on in my online program, 5 Minutes 4 Mum, because they are the first roadblock we face when we want to start spending time, energy and money on our own needs.
You might be aware that about 2 months ago I suffered I really bad “back seizure which was so painful I couldn’t get out of bed myself, dress myself or even go to the toilet alone. It was totally out of the blue and I had never experienced anything like that. It turns out I have fractured vertebrae in my spine (from a long time ago) and that my body is no longer strong enough to compensate so it fell apart on me!
This is something I will have to manage for life and I am keen to never be in that much pain again. I was referred to a Personal Trainer who specializes in core fitness for women to get me back on track. The crazy thing was, after I met with her I could feel all kinds of resistance about saying “yes” even though I really liked her and what she does.
The resistance was all about the money. Spending a decent sum of money of my own needs. This resistance made me so uncomfortable so I paid attention to my thoughts. I could hear myself saying:
“This is too much money to spend”
“Maybe you can just get fit and strong on your own?”
“I can’t possibly spend this money”My logical brain listened to this and was saying “Are you nuts girl? Of course you can spend the money! Your long term well-being is priceless. The money is there. Spend it. You need to be fit and well”In my house my husband earns most of the money we have and although I know I contribute huge value to our family unit, money is not something I contribute. I realized that all my resistance came from an unhelpful thought that “it wasn’t my money to spend as I pleased”.
Have you ever had that feeling … that resistance?
I did end up saying “yes” and have started working with the Personal Trainer and am loving it. Being aware of my thought patterns helps me to shift them and create thoughts that serve me much better.
Is there something you are holding back from that you really want to do for yourself? I say … “just do it” … you really truly are worth it!
Love this Linda, I generally put myself last but since my husband sent me off to the fantastic billabong retreat I’ve realised that while it does seem expensive it’s so what I need for my mental health. I’ll be going back again later this year.
I am so happy to hear that your experience of going to Billabong has helped shift your mindset on spending money on your self care – yay! xx