How to offer help to a Mum so that she will accept

Have you ever offered help to another Mum? I am sure you have.

One thing I have noticed in my journey as a mother and life coach is how difficult it is for many mums to accept a gesture of help and support. It makes them uncomfortable to to receive support when they may not be in a position to return the favour.

I want all mothers to keep in mind that giving and accepting help from each other does not have to be an equal trade between specific people. I truly believe that if we give and receive help whenever it is needed, to whoever needs it, that it all balances out on some universal scorecard. We don’t need to worry about it.

However, I do have a tip that will help a mum accept help being offered to her more easily. The trick is to be really specific about the offer and don’t put the responsibility on her to ask for the help later on.

For example – instead of saying “Let me know if you ever want me to pop over and mind the kids” it is far more effective to say “How about I pop around on Wednesday afternoon to mind the kids so you can do something for yourself?”

Or instead of saying “If you ever need a meal for the freezer let me know” you can say “I am making a big batch of Bolognese sauce this weekend. Can I pop over Sunday night with a batch for your freezer?”

Being specific is so powerful and will make it much easier for her to accept. If you are putting it back on her to ask for the support at a later date she is unlikely to. She will feel guilty, like she is putting you out or being a burden.

I have lovely back door neighbours who are of ‘grandparent’ age. They adore my kids and my kids adore them. When my husband travels for work they will often say ‘Sing out if you need anything’ but I never do … unless I am totally in a crisis.

I always feel uncomfortable with the idea of saying ‘Please have the kids for an hour because they are driving me crazy!’ … even though I know it would do me the world of good. However, if they came around and said “When the kids get home from school tomorrow afternoon send them over for an hour. We will be home and would love to see them” – then I would actually send the kids over.

Do you see the difference?

My challenge to you this week is:

  1. make a specific offer of support to another mum this week
  2. accept EVERY offer of help you receive this week … just say YES

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