“I’m scared that if I want it, then I will cry if it doesn’t happen Mum”
This was part of a conversation a had with my 10 year old a few months ago. She was sharing with me that a lot of her friends at school were telling her that she will win the “All Rounder” trophy at the end of year Year 6 graduation assembly.
This trophy is perceived by the children to be the highest award that can be received. My daughter felt very uncomfortable with these conversations and asked me if it was bad if she didn’t want to win this award. When I asked why she wouldn’t want to her reply was: “I’m scared that if I want it, then I will cry if it doesn’t happen Mum”
I could see that she was actively trying not to feel hopeful, or strongly wish for this outcome because she doesn’t want to experience the disappointment if it doesn’t happen. I assured her the comments her friends were making were just their way of telling her they think she is wonderful and that regardless of what award (if any) she receives at graduation we are enormously proud of who she is.
But this conversation has been niggling away at me as a mother. I feel there is a bigger lesson here I want to teach but I feel unsure of how to teach it.
Part of me wants to say:
Want this award with all your heart because you are a remarkable and wonderful person. You may not actually receive the award but you are fully deserving of it if you do.
Want this award with all your heart because it is OK to want big things in your world. You don’t need to play small.
Want this award with all your heart. Want amazing things in life and risk the feelings of disappointment that may come your way … “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” ― Norman Vincent Peale
Want this award with all your heart because you believe you are worth it.
I have this niggling feeling that now is a moment to plant the seeds within her soul that will allow her to strive for her dreams as a young woman.
It makes me wonder how many women in the world are holding back from wanting things too much in their life in case they feel too upset if it doesn’t actually happen?
Do you ever have that feeling?
What would happen if we stopped holding back and allowed ourselves to really want things in our life … truly, madly, deeply.